The outcome of everything lasted on so little. I glared at the envelope sitting unopened on my desk, looking so pristine. It kinda was ridiculous, knowing just some words on paper would affect me so. Yet, because it was from him I was worried what was in such an innocent looking envelope.
I shouldn’t have wrote those words. I should have never sent that letter. The words I was about to read, will mean everything. Though what if he wrote what I didn’t want him to? What if he wrote words that will tear out my heart, and burn at my soul?
I glanced at my reflection, fear was so prominent on my face, I couldn’t see the hope that felt exploding in my stomach. It seemed almost as if hope was the same as fear.
Then suddenly as if a robot took over my actions, I lunged for the letter, ripping open the envelope. Then everything slowed down. I slowly and carefully took out the letter as if it could break.
I stared at it.
I didn’t dare unfold it. In my hands the whiteness of the paper seemed to mock me as I tried to decide if it was good news or bad. If it’s bad… wouldn’t it be heavy? With lots of explanations of why and apologizing? Though what if it’s like college acceptance letters? Where they just dash all your hopes in just a few simple words.
I took a deep breath and held it. It’s either now or never. I unfolded the letter letting go of my pent-up breath.
And I read.